a.Art
q.what did one eye say to the other?
a.Between you and me something smells
q.what happened when the egg laughed?
a.It cracked up
q.what did one elevator say to the other?
a.I think I'm coming down with something
q.Why was it so hot after the baseball game?
a.Because all the fans were gone
q.why couldn't the baker buy a new car?
a.He didn't make enough dough
q.what did one vacuum say to the other?
a.between you and me this job sucks!
q.why did the student study in a airplane?
a.because he wanted a higher education
q.What word is always pronounced wrong?
a.Wrong.
q.What do you call cheese that is not yours?
a.Nacho cheese!
q.What goes tick-tick, woof-woof?
a.A watch dog.
q.What do you call a dentist in the army?
a.A drill sergeant.
q.What kind of key opens a banana?
a.A mon-key.
q.What do you call a pig that plays basketball?
a.A ball hog.
q.Why was 6 afraid of 7?
a.Because 7 8 9.
q.Why did the man put his money in the freezer?
a.He wanted cold hard cash.
q.What did the porcupine say to the cactus?
a.Is that you mommy?
q.What do you get you cross a snowman with a vampire?
a.Frostbite.
q.How do crazy people go through the forest
a. They take the psycho path.
q.What do prisoners use to call each other?
a.Cell phones.
q.What do you get from a pampered cow?
a.Spoiled milk.
q.Where do polar bears vote?
a.The north poll.
q.What did Geronimo say when he jumped out of a plane?
a.Meeeeee!
q.Where do snowmen keep their money?
a.Snowbanks.
q.Whats brown and sticky?
a.A stick.
q.Why do seagulls fly over the sea?
a. If they flew over the bay they would be bagels.
q.Why did the tomato get red?
a.Because it saw salad dressing.
q.How do you make a tissue dance?
a.Put a little boogey in it.
q.Why do people pay attention to Niagara so much?
a.Because Niagara falls.
q. What did the grape do when it got stepped on?
a. It let out a little wine
q. Where do bees go to the bathroom?
a. The bee pee station
q.What do the judge say when the skunk walked in the courtroom?
a. Odor in the court.
q. What did the water say to the boat?
a. Nothing it just waved.
q. Why don't skeletons fight each other?
a. They don't have the guts.
Q.how do you make seven an even number?
A.take the s out!
Q. Why are ghosts bad liars?
A. Because you can see right through them
q.What dog can jump higher than a building?
a. Anydog, buildings can't jump!
Q. Why did the boy tiptoe past the medicine cabinet?
A. He didn't want to wake the sleeping pills!
Q. How do you tease fruit?
A. Banananananananana!
Q. Why did Goofy put a clock under his desk?
A. Because he wanted to work over-time!
Q. Why did Tommy throw the clock out of the window?
A. Because he wanted to see time fly!
Q. How does a moulded fruit-flavoured dessert answer the phone?
A. Jell-o!
Q. When do you stop at green and go at red?
A. When you're eating a watermelon!
Q. How did the farmer mend his pants?
A. With cabbage patches!
Q. Why don't they serve chocolate in prison?
A. Because it makes you break out!
Q. What do you call artificial spaghetti?
A. Mockaroni!
Q. What happens to a hamburger that misses a lot of school?
A. He has a lot of ketchup time!
Q. Why did the man at the orange juice factory lose his job?
A. He couldn't concentrate!
Q. How do you repair a broken tomato?
A. Tomato Paste!
Q. Why did the baby strawberry cry?
A. Because his parents were in a jam!
Q. What did the hamburger name his daughter?
A. Patty!
Q. What kind of egg did the bad chicken lay?
A. A deviled egg!
Q. What kind of key opens the door on Thanksgiving?
A. A turkey!
Q. What kind of cake do you get at a cafeteria?
A. A stomach-cake!
Q. Why did the cookie go to the hospital?
A. He felt crummy!
Q. When does a cart come before a horse?
A. In the dictionary!
Q. Why were the teacher's eyes crossed?
A. She couldn't control her pupils!
Q. Why did the scientist install a knocker on his door?
A. To win the nobell prize
Q. Why don't mountains get cold in the winter?
A. They wear snow caps.
Q. Why did the balloon burst?
A. Because it saw a lolly pop!
Q. Why did it take the monster ten months to finish a book?
A. Because he wasn't very hungry.
Q. How much do pirates pay for their earrings?
A. Buccaneer
Q. When is a car not a car?
A. When it turns into a garage.
Q. If Mr. and Mrs. Bigger had kids, who would be the biggest of the three?
A. The baby, because he's a little Bigger!
Q. What did the carpet say to the floor?
A. "You go ahead I'll cover you"
Q. Why did the one-handed man cross the road?
A. He wanted to get to the second-hand shop!
Q. What flower grows on your face?
A. Tulips
Q. What is a computer's favorite dance?
A. Disk-o
Q. Why did the little boy put lipstick on his head?
A. He wanted to make up his mind!
Q. What kind of ship never sinks?
A. Friendship!
Q. What did the pencil sharpener say to the pencil?
A. Stop going in circles and get to the point!
Q. How do you make a hotdog stand?
A. Steal its chair!
Q. Did you hear about what happened at the Laundromat last night?
A. Three clothes-pins held up two shirts!
A. Three clothes-pins held up two shirts!
Q. Why did the computer squeak.
A. Because someone stepped on it's mouse
A. Because someone stepped on it's mouse
Q: What is square and green?
A: A lemon in disguise
A: A lemon in disguise
Q: How do you make an artichoke?
A: Strangle it
A: Strangle it
Q: What’s the fastest vegetable?
A: A runner bean
A: A runner bean
Q: What do you call two rows of vegetables?
A: A dual cabbage way
A: A dual cabbage way
Q: Why did the banana go to the doctor?
A: Because it wasn’t peeling well
Q: What is small, round and giggles a lot?
A: A tickled onion
A: A tickled onion
Q: What’s the strongest vegetable?
A: A muscle sprout
A: A muscle sprout
